The frustrations of being a parent
Why becoming better at dealing with your own frustrations is a big part of becoming a better parent.
The kids are finally in bed, the house is quiet, and I sit down to write this email.
"Waaah, waaaaah, waaaaaaaah!"
My daughter is crying. "I'll just give it a minute, she'll settle down," I decide.
She doesn't settle down. She continues crying. So I get up, go give her a hug, and help her calm down. I tuck her in again, and watch her fall asleep. I sigh, relieved, as I close the door.
The kids are finally in bed, the house is quiet, and I sit down to write this email.
"I'm thirsty!" my son shouts. His sister's crying has woken him up.
"I'm thirsty too!" my daughter adds, woken up in turn by my son's shouting.
I get up, take them their water, tuck them both back into bed, kiss them goodnight, and close the door. "Finally," I think to myself.
The kids are in bed, the house is quiet, and I sit down to write this email.
"I'm hungry, can you make me a peanut butter sandwich?" I hear my son shout. "I want a sandwich too," my daughter adds.
"Aaargh!"
In my experience, being frustrated is a big part of being a parent. And often we get so frustrated with our kid's behavior that we become emotional, leading to yelling, unenforceable threats, and just general unpleasantness.
So becoming better at dealing with your own frustrations is a big part of becoming a better parent.
When I interviewed Dr. Jean Clinton, a clinical professor in Child Psychiatry, for our book How To Get Kids To Listen, we spoke about the topic of the frustrations of being a parent.
Dr. Clinton explained that understanding the source of your frustrations is the first step to becoming better at dealing with them. She shared a simple question that you can ask yourself to better understand your own frustrations.
By using this question to examine and understand your own frustrations, you become better able to stay calm in the face of the never ending onslaught of being a parent.
Because the thing is: being a parent is rewarding, but difficult. You can never get away from being frustrated when you are a parent, but you can become better at dealing with your frustrations.
And the better you become at dealing with your own frustrations and negative emotions, the better your children will become, because they learn by watching you.