Lessons from "How To Get Kids To Listen" interviews

Why honoring your child's agenda makes getting them to cooperate with you much easier.

A simple act that changed our evening from bad to great.

An easy way to build a better relationship with your child, while at the same time making it more likely that they will cooperate with you when you need them to.

Three steps to take when your child is very upset or throwing a tantrum.

The three brain states, and how the state your brain is in affects how easy it is to get your children to cooperate.

Why how you feel when you talk to your kids is so important for getting them to cooperate.

Don't try to talk them out of their fear. Instead, show them that it is normal to feel that way.

"If you want your kids to listen to you, you start by understanding how they process information and what they prioritise."

Why letting your kids feel disappointment is important, and how to know when to be flexible.

How to be a more flexible parent, avoid power struggles, and teach your kids how to make better decisions.

Why consistent boundaries make your kids feel better, and what happens if your boundaries are not consistent.

Why routine and structure can help you find the joy in parenting again.

Some innovative and easy-to-implement strategies to make "transitions" easier.

How to avoid power struggles by helping your kids feel seen and heard.

Why trying to force your children to cooperate with you just makes your life more difficult in the long term.

A simple technique to help kids do what you want, by first acknowledging what's important to them.

Why you need to focus on developing a relationship of trust with your child instead of focusing on getting them to comply.

Why having realistic expectations of what your kids will do makes life easier for you.

The 3 things children need so they want to listen.

How to turn bad behavior into positive learning opportunities.

A simple framework for understanding why you react the way you do when your children upset you.

How to prevent bad behavior before it even happens.

How to "speak in your child's language" to make getting them to cooperate much easier (and more fun).

A simple two-step technique for creating a deeper bond and connection with your children.

Why it is critical to let your child experience bad feelings.

How to reflect back and validate your child's emotions.

How to work with your child to set in place house rules that everyone is happy with.

A simple trick for getting kids to clean up after themselves, without having to yell or get into a power struggle with them.

How to turn your child's bad behavior into an opportunity for connection and teaching.

Why understanding and honoring your child's true nature can make getting them to cooperate much easier.

A simple habit for building a stronger connection and relationship with your child every day.

Why expecting too much from your kids sets you up for frustration.

What killer whales do when their kids fight.

Why being a parent is hard, and how to make it easier.

The hidden cost of using threats or force to get your kids to comply.

The main reason your kids are irritating you.

A big reason why kids don't want to cooperate or do things to annoy you.

Why getting your child's attention before asking for their cooperation is critical.

A simple habit for building a deeper connection with your child without spending any extra work or time.

Why using force or punishment to get your kids to cooperate leads to more bad behavior.

The two keys to dealing with strong-willed or stubborn children without yelling or threats.

Why the mistakes you make as parent can be good for your kids.

The better you become at listening to your child, the better they will become at listening to you...

How to keep calm in the moment, instead of freaking out when your kids do something that upsets you.

Why becoming better at dealing with your own frustrations is a big part of becoming a better parent.

Why you need to be realistic about what your child is actually capable of doing if you want to avoid frustration.

Robert Pittman, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Why having control over your own emotions increases the chances that your kids will cooperate and listen.

The most important thing to focus on to get kids (or adults) to listen and cooperate.

How to delight in your children even when they are grumpy, tired, and needy.

How to speak in the "language of your kids" to get them to listen to you.

The single most important thing you can do for your kids to help them develop emotional regulation.

A parenting expert's advice on what to do when your kids poke you until you explode.

Achilles Painter , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

Why taking the pressure off works better to get your child to cooperate than nagging or threatening.

Why understanding your child's perspective is crucial for peaceful parenting.

Why sometimes giving up is the best parenting strategy, and how your personality can affect your child's behavior.

How to create a better connection with your child using "child-driven conversations."

How to become an expert at figuring out the real causes of your child's behavior.

Why kids do what we do, not what we say, and why yelling or screaming at your kids will backfire in the long-term.

Why understanding the way your child views the world makes it easier to get them to cooperate.

Drastically reduce your parenting frustration by identifying the most common problems proactively.

Two things that motivate children, and how to use them to get your children to want to cooperate with you.

Why being prepared and proactive in your parenting makes it much easier to get your kids to cooperate.

Why you need to prepare for your child misbehaving instead of just reacting when it happens.

Why sometimes the best approach when your child doesn't want to listen to you is just to let them experience the natural consequence of their action

Three important myths about parenting that are simply not true (and what to do instead).

Steve Fitzgerald, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

How to avoid constant power struggles and give your child a sense of control using child-driven conversations.

Charles J. Sharp , CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Why your job is not to make your kids feel better when they are sad...and why letting them experience negative emotions is important.

A better alternative to "consequences" or "punishment" for getting your kids to listen to you.

Why kids speak in the language of play, and how you can learn to use playfulness to get your kids to cooperate.

Why having control over your own emotions increases the chances that your kids will cooperate.

A two step system for teaching your kids to solve their own problems, and manage their own emotions.

How finding things that delight you about your child can build trust, a better relationship, and make it easier to get them to cooperate.

The difference between intentional and unintentional parenting, and how to become more intentional with your parenting.

How you and your child can get more value out of the time you already spend together - a way to parent smarter without working harder!

Nava nivea

Why staying calm when your kids upset you is so important. And tips from a parenting expert to turn anger into teachable moments.

Tokumeigakarinoaoshima

Why there is no “one-size-fits-all” parenting magic trick that works for all children, and how you can understand your child better.

Why it is more important how you say something than what you say, and why your kids will focus on your tone of voice instead of your words.

Daniel Martin

Here's a better way to teach your kids good manners, by focusing on rewarding and demonstrating positive behavior.

Why kids speak in the "language of play", and how you can learn to be speak their language...even if you are not feeling playful.

Big Hole under CC Attribution 2.0 Generic

How to work with your children, instead of against them.

Rmhermen at the English Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Why the obvious way of getting your kids to cooperate often backfires and just makes the situation worse.

How to re-frame your child's tantrums as an attempt at communication, and how that can lead you to help calm them down and understand them better.

The most important first step to getting your kids to cooperate - without this there is no chance that they will listen to you.

Why telling your child what to do creates resistance, and how to use playfulness to "side-step" this resistance and get them to cooperate.

Why your job as a parent is to be a gardener, not a carpenter. And how accepting your child for who they are can lead to a deeper relationship.

Why learning to be more playful with your child can make it easier to get them to listen to you, and cooperate with what you want them to do.

Why you need to understand what your child is capable of. And how to reduce frustration and increase cooperation when dealing with you child.

How learning to really listen to what your child is saying and dropping your own agenda can deepen your connection with your child.

The two core emotional needs that every child has. And how to help them proactively fill those needs, so they don't end up fighting you for it.

Why sometimes the best solution to a problem is to just change the environment, instead of trying to convince your children to listen to you.

Why trying to control your child's emotions is futile, and how to instead use your "words as medicine" to calm them down...without telling them to calm down.

How to become a "stress detective" and use your child's emotional outbursts and tantrums as clues to understand them better.

A simple 4 part method to connect with your child, attune to their emotions, and get them to listen to you without having to shout or threaten.

Why you need to take care of yourself if you want to take care of your children. And how you can become better at managing your own emotions.

Why being proactive in your parenting is so important. And why kids do better when they feel better (and how to proactively help them feel better)

What to do instead of using threats or punishment to get your children to listen. And the "hidden" negative effects of punishment.

How to stay calm when your kid starts getting emotional. And the benefits of being able to stay calm under fire.

What happens when you are able to "detach yourself from the outcome". And a simple trick that you can use to calm yourself.

How to reframe bad behavior into useful information about what your child needs. And one question to ask yourself when your child behaves badly.

How to connect with your children even if you are not interested in the same things. And the benefits of deeper connection with your children.

Why you need to know what your child is capable of doing, as well as understanding. And how to better understand your child's personality.

Why parents should be gardeners instead of carpenters. And why your kids are not trying to upset you, even if you sometimes feel they are.

Why "play" is the most important activity that your young child can do. And the difference between adult play and child play.

The real reason it feels like your child often isn’t listening to you. And, how to get your child's attention, no yelling required.

A technique for understanding your child better. And why understanding what your child is interested in helps increase their willingness to cooperate.

Why your child's language is "play". And how you can learn to speak this "language of play" to help get them to listen to you.

Why you need to teach your children to sort out their own problems and disputes, instead of relying on you to resolve their fights.

PLOS

Why you need to learn how to stay calm if you want your children to stay calm. And what not do to do when your child is upset or throwing a tantrum.

Why it does not help trying to "fix" your child's bad behavior. And what you should rather focus on.

Why you should not hide your negative emotions from your children. And why you getting mad or upset could be good for your children.

Why guilt is the enemy of the effective parent. And how to deal with the guilt of making mistakes and struggling as a parent.